this is how it goes
by lord-is-it-mine
Summary: written for a friend on tumblr with the prompt "snily first kiss B)". the story is set when they're about twelve or so. just some cutesy fluff from your friendly neighbourhood fic author ((it's pre-series, so it could be books or movies or w/e i don't think it matters)).


The summer had been long and rainy. There were so few clear days that it felt to Severus as though the sun had given up hope of ever getting a chance to shine again. It also meant that Lily was unable to come and meet him as often as they would have liked- the field where they had spent so much time together had essentially become a swamp, the grass swallowed up by muddy pools of rainwater that made the ground squash and squelch beneath his shoes as he walked towards the tree where they had first seen each other. His feet were soaked- he hadn't realised until now just how many holes there were in his shoes.

It was nearing the end of August, and finally the constant gloom had let up long enough for there to be warmth in the air once again. The afternoon sun was blazing, and the humidity clung to Severus's clothes- sweat gathered on the back of his neck, which he wiped off with his sleeve. He didn't even know if Lily would be there when he arrived- but the walk long and tiring walk would be more than worth it if she was. When he finally came within throwing distance of the tree, he could see someone disappearing just behind it. He smiled at the wisp of bright red hair that blew into view on the light breeze. A wide smile spread across his face, and he began to run, as best he could, across the marshy ground towards the embankment.

"Hello Lily," he huffed, catching his breath once he had made it to higher (and dryer) ground. He rounded the tree and found her sitting with her back against it, knees pulled up to her chest, chin resting lightly upon them. Her fingers anxiously pulled at the grass beneath her hands, dirt staining her palms and getting under her fingernails. She wasn't smiling, and if Severus didn't know any better, he'd say she had been crying. His hand fell next to hers, and though he wanted to take hold of it, he did not.

"What's wrong?" He sat down next to her, the wetness of the ground immediately soaking into his trousers.

"Nothing, Sev, I'm alright." She answered quietly. He knew she was lying, but also knew better than to push her to talk about something she wasn't ready to mention. So he waited. Lily pulled at the grass only a minute longer before she spoke again.

"It's just- Petunia was being so _awful_ this morning- going on and on about how wonderful her life is, making fun of me for not having as many friends as she does."

Severus felt a slight twinge of sadness. He knew this was coming. Lily was going to tell him they couldn't be friends anymore. That he wasn't good enough to be with her anymore. She inhaled loudly, and he braced himself for what she would say next.

"She asked me if I'd ever been kissed before. I told her no, of course, because it's not like I know that many boys, and she said that last year, when she was my age, she'd already had her first kiss." Lily sniffled quietly, and Severus breathed a sigh of relief, while simultaneously feeling his heart skip a beat in his chest.

"It's a ridiculous thing to be upset about. Mum said that I'm too young to be worried about kissing boys yet anyway, but-" she turned to him- "I can't stop thinking about it. And then Petunia had to go and tease me."

"Well," Severus began, voice barely more than a whisper, "if you get a boy to kiss you, then she'll have to shut up, won't she?" he regretted the words even before they had completely left his mouth. He wanted to smack himself for suggesting such a stupid thing. He closed his eyes and hoped she would just laugh in his face and get it over with already.

"That- that's a great idea, Sev!" She exclaimed, wiping her tears determinedly from the corners of her eyes.

"It is?" He asked, astonished and bewildered.

"Yeah! Once I've had my first kiss, Petunia will leave me alone, and I can stop worrying about when and how it'll happen."

"Right, yeah." He swallowed hard. He was sure now that she was thinking about kissing someone; he was sure that she was thinking about kissing someone else. The thought was unpleasant. to say the least.

"Severus, close your eyes." She said, suddenly and solemnly. He stared, slack-jawed and confused.

"Why?"

"Why d'you think? I'm going to kiss you. Now shut your mouth and close your eyes." She ordered, obviously a little amused at his shyness. He knew he didn't want to refuse. His stomach was doing flips- his throat was about to close, he thought. He met her eyes, which were still as bright and as unwavering as ever. He took a deep breath and did what she had told him to do. The last thing he saw was her face, leaning closer and closer to him.

He couldn't describe the kiss as it happened; only after it was over was he able to really process what had happened. It was nothing like he had dared to imagine it would be- It was _better_. The brush of her lips was the warmest, gentlest thing he'd ever felt- she didn't hesitate at all, he realised- nonetheless, the kiss was soft and slow and chaste. A wellspring of happiness bubbled up inside him, and he felt as if sparks were spilling across the surface of his skin.

When she pulled away, the happiness threatened to collapse, until he looked into her eyes. She had a small smile, the dimples in her cheeks just beginning to show.

"Oh dear," she said, "that didn't work at _all_."

A painful fear jolted through him. He was afraid again that she would tell him she didn't want to see him anymore.

"It didn't?" He was ashamed that his voice was nearly a squeak.

"No." She smiled again. He could not, for the life of him, figure out why she was smiling so.

"I thought I wouldn't have to think about kissing once I had done it," she explained, "but I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking that I want to do it again."

"Oh." Was all Severus could think to say- his cheeks were burning, and his heart was beating much too fast for his liking.

This time, he was unprepared for Lily to kiss him. His eyes widened when she grabbed his face with her dirty hands and pressed their lips together- this kiss was warm like the others, but less gentle- she moved herself to kneel in front of him, her grubby knees pressing to the toes of his shoes. Severus belatedly allowed his eyes to drift closed once more, sinking in to the smell of earth on her hands and the wonderful comfort of her touch. He could hardly believe that Lily wanted to kiss him of all people- and she wanted to do it twice. Maybe more, he scarcely hoped.

"Lily-" he gasped when she pulled away from him.

"Yeah, Sev?" She laughed, her voice sweet to him like the summer sun and the breeze that lifted the strands of her hair around her face.

"I- you're my best friend, you know that, right?" He finally let himself grin foolishly. She mimicked him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

"Yeah, Sev." She rolled her eyes playfully, like his feelings for her were the most obvious thing in the world. They were, he knew. She leaned in close again, resting her forehead against his, one hand reaching down to intertwine with his.

"_Always_."


End file.
